EP 37 – From Burnout to Balance and Fulfillment with Kyle Depiesse
Hey hey! Welcome back to The Bullpen Sessions!
I’ve got a great guest today — Kyle Depiesse. Kyle and I met during a mutual Mastermind. He’s one of those down-to-earth type guys from Wisconsin, and he’s got an unbelievable story to share.
I wanted to have Kyle on the show for one big reason. It’s a reason that so many of you are feeling unfulfilled right now. Early in his career, Kyle was climbing the corporate ladder. He worked for massive organizations like Target and Carlson Hotels. Kyle was having massive success — success as defined by making money, having the big house, and other material successes. But at the end of the day, he was left unfulfilled and burned out.
In today’s episode, we talked about many things, from Kyle’s time climbing America’s corporate ladder, to hitting rock bottom, to getting out of debt, and creating a fulfilling life. Get ready to take some notes, especially if you are in a position in your career where you’ve had success by means of income, or by the material stuff — the cars, the houses, whatever it is — but you’re still feeling a little unfulfilled. This episode’s for you.
If you’re looking to build a life out of purpose instead of burnout, read on!
Who Is Kyle Depiesse?
We’ll get into Kyle’s story in more detail, but today Kyle Depiesse is the founder and host of the Reaching Beyond Experience. The Reaching Beyond Experience helps people achieve their highest level of fulfillment in how they connect with others, with themselves, and their careers. Through specialized retreats, programs, and 1:1 coaching, Kyle uses his experience to help clients get clarity they need to build a fulfilling life.
He’s also the host of the Reaching Beyond podcast, where Kyle and his guests talk about finding a balance between finding a fulfilling life and creating a life filled with achievements. Definitely check out his podcast — he has some quality content on there.
I’m excited to have Kyle on this episode because burnout is something that we’re all feeling a little bit these days. It’s easy to feel burned out right now with everything that’s going in the world — COVID-19, the lockdowns, and negativity that so many of us feel. If you’re feeling physically and mentally exhausted, you’re not alone. In fact, that burnout is what started Kyle’s journey into the coach, father, and man he is today.
Climbing the Corporate Ladder
Let’s go back to where it all started for Kyle. Kyle was born and raised in Wisconsin. In 2005, he left the state after graduating with a degree in business finance and headed to Minneapolis for a job at Target’s headquarters.
“I got into [Target’s] merchandising pyramid. You’d go to Target and see electronics on a shelf. I was in the electronics unit. It was my job to order those electronics from the vendor and then get it into Target, put it on the shelf, and make sure it was in stock. I did that for a couple of years. Then, a previous boss pulled me over to Carlson Rezidor Hotel Group [which is now Radisson and Country Inn and Suites]. I did that for a few years. I managed a portfolio of hotels. My job was to distribute the room rate.” – Kyle Depiesse
Following the hotel business, Kyle moved on to video game distribution and in 2015, burnout eventually hit.
“I hit an ultimate rock bottom of a burnout in my career in 2015 and struggled for a while in that. And then I just left corporate America. I became a high school business teacher, and I did that for two years.” – Kyle Depiesse
That moment —that rock-bottom decision to try something new — is how Kyle discovered his real passion and gift. He really enjoyed uncovering the process of education and learning, and he felt like he was making a difference in the world. . When Kyle and his wife had their son, Cal, in March 2017, he made the decision to be a stay-at-home dad. At the end of last summer, he launched Reaching Beyond — and the rest is history.
What’s Your Worst-Case Scenario?
Let’s turn back the page to the man Kyle was during his time in corporate America. Kyle says he was a completely different person during those days.
“I was singularly focused on how I defined success at that point in my life. I defined success — it’s almost embarrassing to say this — but I defined it as a very self-centered and selfish pursuit. How much money can I make? What kind of car am I driving? Having a corner office, a big paycheck, a big bonus, a big benefit plan: Those were all of the things I used to define success [by].” – Kyle Depiesse
Kyle wasn’t alone — and I’m sure many of you can relate to that feeling right now. The culture at many corporate jobs incentivizes those things. Kyle says at Target (no knock on Target), the mindset was one of constant competition.
“The culture at Target was that every two years or so, you should be getting promoted to the next job. It felt like this constant jockeying of people around you. I would think to myself, ‘Maybe if I want to make myself look better, does that mean I have to make someone else look bad?’ You get caught up into this rat race of doing things for the wrong reasons.” – Kyle Depiesse
Kyle says this one memory really stands out as a moment when he started to question everything. It was Thanksgiving, 2014.
“I remember this as clear as day, because it’s Thanksgiving. At that time, I was working for a video game distributor and I was doing their e-commerce. When someone buys a video game, it was our company’s job (and my job) to ship it to that customer. It was Black Friday — a huge, huge day in e-commerce. On Thanksgiving day, I had my family in from Wisconsin and from the West Coast. We’re hosting a Thanksgiving meal later on the day. I was up at about 4:00 AM, and I drove into work because I had work that I had to do to prepare for Black Friday. I get to work to put in a long day, and I’m just thinking to myself, ‘What am I doing? I just left my family at my home who’s visiting me from out of state. I don’t get to see them that often. What am I doing? What is it all for?’” – Kyle Depiesse
Kyle talks about his mindset back then, and how he’d just push himself day after day to perform. The constant pressure and the demands of corporate work got to him eventually. He says he started to resent going to work and putting in long hours day after day. That resentment slowly made Kyle more cynical — and it was impacting his personal life. Kyle says that he was not only not reaching his potential, but he was also unhappy and making those around him unhappy.
Kyle took a good hard look at his life and realized there was more to life than a big paycheck, a nice car, or a corner office. This amount of burnout, the cynicism, and resentment that he was bringing home with him, the struggle to get up in the morning and do it all over again… a nice car wasn’t worth all that. In some ways, he was already living his worst-case scenario.
Don’t Sacrifice Your Personal Balance Sheet for Your Professional One
Kyle started asking himself, “How do I want to show up in this world?” That led him to a massive realization.
“We don’t have to sacrifice our personal balance sheet for our professional one. Success at work is not worth being a failure at home.” – Kyle Depiesse
I just want to let that sink in for a moment. I don’t care how many commas and zeros there are on your professional balance sheet. If your personal balance sheet is sitting at zero, that six-figure paycheck doesn’t mean a damn thing.
It was a little more complicated for Kyle once he decided to leave the corporate rat race — he and his wife were in nearly $400,000 of debt. That adds a TON of stress, and it also makes it hard to walk away from that constant churn of work.
“You don’t just happen to get into that much debt. It takes a while to get there. Give yourself patience and grace to get yourself out of that position. Tactically, we did Dave Ramsey’s plan. We did it on steroids in the sense that we had a mortgage and we decided if we could knock the mortgage out in two years, that would give us the ultimate freedom to say, ‘Okay, well now I want to start a business.’” – Kyle Depiesse
If you’re in a similar position, don’t beat yourself up: Approach the problem with humility, and with patience. There’s no overnight recipe for success. It takes consistency and patience to build a fulfilling life, even if you’re not dealing with a pile of debt.
Why You Should Listen to This Kyle Depiesse Podcast Episode Right Now…
Kyle’s learned a lot over the last 15years. He likens the feeling to completing an Ironman triathlon.
“Imagine yourself going out for a run. Maybe it’s just a 5K. Imagine yourself wearing a weighted vest, a full jogging suit, and carrying dumbbells. Imagine that what that would be like — it feels heavy. It feels like you’re not performing and you’re not able to go as fast as you might like. That’s what debt feels like. Now that we’ve kicked debt out of our lives, I’ve aligned myself and I’m doing something that brings me so much fulfillment and joy. I get to spend time with my son and be such a big influence in his life. It feels free. It [doesn’t feel] heavy. I feel like I’m focusing on joy and what lights us up and what really fulfills us.” – Kyle Depiesse
As someone who’s done a few triathlons, I know how amazing it feels. If you’re feeling heavy, burned out, and unfulfilled by your life, try to picture your worst-case scenario. You may realize, like Kyle, that you’re currently living in it — which is a sign that it’s time to make a change.
Kyle is available on social media for anyone who’s got tactical questions about getting out of debt — you can find him on Instagram, @kyle_depiesse, or on Facebook and LinkedIn. Visit his website, kyledepiesse.com, to learn more about the Reaching Beyond Experience. He’s got an amazing retreat coming up this October that I think many of you won’t want to miss.
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Thanks for reading and see you next time!
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